Q*-Homeland version

I miss Egypt. To be exact Ramadhan in Egypt. Gosh! This feeling is killing me. Yeah, stupid me for making comparisons. Anybody likes to be compared with others? Nobody, righto.

Uno,

Fasting- Ouh, of course totally different. Yep, with family members. Yet thats the most difficult one. If we're staying with our friends, we're going to have just 'cukup-cukup' meals. But living in a family, and thats the real situation. Example, you're going to face the elder one wants mi goreng, while the second mogok wanting mi sup, the bongsu throwing tantrum wanting nasi with lauk ikan patin. Lord... too much foods when you have more family members. Especially, KIDS. Buat-buat paham sudahlah. Eventhough all those foods are going to finish after tarawih, but still there's a feeling inside... why cant we be modest?
haih... easier said than done. :(

Dos,

Tarawih- This is the most challenging part. On the first few days that mosque is full. Yep, completely full. But tonight it shows some 'bad' part? The decreasing number of jamaah? Too prominent. Almost 3,4 saffs are missing. Plus the mazhab 'bawah kipas' and 'sejadah sorang satu'. Allahu Rabbi. If they're youngsters I dont have any problem with that. But... if I said, 'makcik, boleh rapat lagi ni dengan saya. ke belah kanan'. And she kept standing there till the last rakaat. What should I do then? 

haih... easier said than done. :(

Tres,

Tazkirah- Okay. To be honest I dont understand arabic well. Yet, the tazkirah never makes me sleepy unless I'm totally restless. Rarely happens. It strucks the exact point inside. I dont say here, I didnt struck my heart. Yet, my pov is different. I mean, there're certain issues should be discuss in Ramadhan deeply. As we are all striving for 'taqwa' at the end of it and maintaining it for the whole year till the next Ramadhan. Whats the point of saying that particular person is kafeer. Whats the point saying that particular jamaah only dare to hold the stomach? The legs? And not the bull's horn. And the one who stands on the right way is the one holding the bull's horns to defeat it. Ya Rahman... I feel so sad. I did cry after that. Hey, we're all muslims. Why did you say that? I'm sorry I want to respect you as a respectable person. But listening to the tazkirah, made me cried because from what I understand, Islam never taught us like that. And I see there're lotsa problems in our community. The hearts' problem between neighbours, the saff, the prayers, the akhlak of the teenagers. Lotsa prominent problems, ustaz....

And I'm kinda strict about the hadith dhaif and maudhu'. Very strict about that. And I'm very details about riwayah in Tarikh Islamiyyah. I understands if you dont study the hadith and sirah well, me either. Its just lucky alhamdulillah Allah sent me to a place where I could dig more knowledge. I'm not saying its your fault.

Never! 

Its just okay. I'm just sad because I cant even spread what I know. Its my fault. I'm not the ahli hadeeth or ahli tarikh. I just know from what I've learn. And still have a lot to be learnt. Just like Saidina Ali said, it is not permissible to remain silence while you know the fact, just like saying something that you dont have knowledge about. I'm just... not in the exact position to voice my knowledge. Bad me.

From what I've heard before, the ulama are now making a very strict filtering, analyzing our sirah to make sure its from the exact source. Not due to emotional matter or israiliyyat. And I'm hoping we're going to spread the natijah very soon. And we could understand this deen better soon.
haih... easier said than done. :(

cuatro,

Eid- The eid is still far away. Yes, more than 2 weeks is far. But the eid songs are on the radio, the advertisements are now everywhere.

What the...?

And people are busy looking for the new clothes. (Okay... me also. Because I have to. To be honest. I HAVE TO. I'm mad at myself for that. Sampai pening mak ayah pujuk suh beli baju. haha. Tak bernafsu untuk beli baju boleh tak?). Looking for new curtains, sofas whatsoever. AND the big issue here is the debt. Yes, my mom keeps supporting them saying that they're not rich to buy cash. Lors, if me myself, I'm not gonna buy those kinda new clothes, handbags, high heels for the Eid if I dont have money. I wont even 'see' any of them. Whats the point buying things you cant afford? And the most important, hey we're in Ramadhan. We should guard our desires more!

Will they understand that? Or should I give a money-management talk to them?

haih... easier said than done. :(

I'm not perfect and never reach perfection. 

I'm just me, full of flaws. 

What is written is just my lousy two cents. Forgive me if you get hurt reading it.

Keep striving for taqwa in this Ramadhan. Who knows its our last Ramadhan.... :D

O' Allah grant us lailatul qadr.

As flowers blossom in spring, so does taqwa (piety) in Ramadan.~Syeikh Abul A’la Al Maududi