Overdue update

Yes.
After almost two years.
I miss blogging and typing and writing.

Gift

Talking about this little creature.
Once inside mommy's tummy. Now hold-able. Kiss-able. Touch-able. Picit-able. Ahah

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
A journey just started.
After series of adventures previously.
Starting from the meeting. The marriage. The pregnancy. The long distance relationship. The delivery. And there... I reached there. At last

This little bundle of blessings and joy is named Sayyid Aryan bin Mohammad Syazwan.
Being named after daddy got headache few days looking for names.
Yes, we didn't save or plan any name for him.

Sayyid means leader.
In view of he is the eldest. The leader for his coming siblings. Insya Allah.
Also a hope. May he become one of the leader of this ummah.
One of mommy's prayer is that may our offsprings be the 'uzama al-Muslimin. May he bring back the greatness of Islam. May he become some great names. May he become amongst the name mention and blessed by the people of the heaven.

Aryan means the one that has strength. The strong one.
Yes he is strong. From the day mommy knew she got pregnant, mommy already did CPR (which is forbidden for pregnant ladies). Mommy has to run here and there in Emergency Department posting.
While others' mommies may have bleeding or miscarriage after heavy work, Aryan stayed strong and grew up healthy inside mommy.
Then mommy has to go to KT underwent peadiatrics posting for 4 months. With the growing Aryan inside mommy, with all sort of cramps. Far away from daddy :'(. The triple quadraple workloads.
Almost everyday crying over the phone of wanting to give up. Emotionally, mentally, physically stressed. Then the fasting month was around, huge belly, swollen feet, back ache etc.
And finally, mommy made it with Aryan.
Alhamdulillah.

And the delivery process. Was too fast
Despite mommy's crying because she was unable to sleep due to contraction started at 11pm. :'(
Aryan was delivered safely at 2.33am.
Alhamdulillah.

May Allah protect you always my child.
Stay strong and healthy and soleh.
Ibu ayah love you.

May other mommies and daddies have soleh and solehah children too.

Notebook

H: Take this *give a new notebook*
W: Heh?
H: Start to write again. It has been a long break right?
W: Haih.... will do will do.
H: No more 'no notebook to scribble' excuses

A message. A line. A border. A blessing.

This is my playground. Hence... people who still came and visit this place of mine should be invited.

May Allah bless.
May Allah ease.

May we all surrounded by barakah.

Do pray for us.
May you, me, us be reunited again in the Jannatul Firdaus.

Syaitan

Kata seorang 'alim,

Jangan kita mengutuk syaitan secara terang-terangan sedangkan ketika bersendiri kitalah pengikutnya yang paling setia.

Aduhhh, manusia ini. Sudahlah diri penuh dosa. Mahu pula mengutuk dosa orang lain. Apakah kita ini terlalu baik?

Sedang orang lain sifat dosanya itu cuma berbeza rona sahaja dengan kita. Bukannya kita ini yang terlalu maksum. Cepat benar melatah saat orang lain melakukan dosa.

Astaghfirullah  Astaghfirullah.
Isilah masamu dengan perkara  bermanfaat.
Nescaya dosa itu tidak mahu hinggap.

Pamper

Assalamualaikum,

And saying hi to my beloved blog. Tonight after all I've been through and whatever it is called, I feel like writing.

Well, you know... the urge to write something (and to polish my language after a loooonnnng period of laziness of reading).

Heh, I should be reading my Washington Surgery because I will start tagging tomorrow insyaAllah.

So... pamper. Not pampers or any sort of diapers.

Actually, people asking me what did I wear for my facial care. Because it is seldom for them to see pimples on my skin. ( I think every month I got pimples)

First, it is not the issue of facial care. Its my skin type actually. I have a dry gloomy skin. That is why its hard for pimples to grow on my face. It does grow during the hormonal imbalance period, but alhamdulillah for the dark complexion I have... it didn't really leave a scar that remarks the 'growing' region. Ahah!

Initially, I used Goat's Milk soap when I was about in Standard 5-6, I think. My father bought the soap for the family. For the body and face. It was quite some time ago.

Then when I'm in Form 1, my mom advised me to buy something for my face. And that time it was Hazeline Snow. I love the smell of the cream back then.

Then after few months, it was the appearance of Safi Balqis. So I switched to Safi Balqis until my almost final year in medical school.

Again... one thing about my skin... it is dry and gloomy. Always. And I didn't use the products to whiten myself. I just used them for as my skin care.

So there it was.

One thing I didn't really like about dry skin is... when it is winter... it is so painful so smile, and you can see your skin exfoliates. Yes it is a natural exfoliate process but and you became a little 'bright' after your skin heals. The truth is, it is really painful. Even on touch.

(Ehehh... putih la sangat kunun)

Then one day... I was about having some extra money. I've been dreaming to give a present to my mother. Long time ago. Because her skin turn dark and pigmented after stop using local cosmetic brands. Not sure whats the brand.

So... I decided to buy SK II Facial Treatment Essence for her. And the salesgirl kakak give me a small trial basic set of SK II. I was in last year in my medical school. So I'm not that rich after all.

I bought the 'very' biggest bottle of SK II FTE available for my mom worth... eh... you just check the price at the counter. :P It's pricey. But... it's for your mom right? So I think... it's okay to spend some.

So I got a member card of SK II and free gift. SInce that I was still using Safi Balqis plus add on SK II FTE.

To be honest... SK II FTE fits our skin. Rehydrates the skin back. And I can say goodbye to my dry gloomy skin. Welcome my hydrated skin. Again... its not for whitening.

Only after I got my first salary I bought the 'big' complete basic set of SK II skin care. Today its almost 2 years. Alhamdulillah... I'm okay and happy with my skin despite the daily stress of the lifestyle of mine.

Some people will said... its so expensive. Yes, the truth it is expensive. But there's actually one trick of buying SK II.

But a lot! I mean spend really a lot at first. And you got soooo many free gift in forms of travel sets, extra sets even extra kind of skin care. Yes, I'm not lying. I just bought the complete set once and still using it for almost two years. (Don't worry about the expiry date. I've checked them)

And I think... its enough for another year. Haha!

By the way, I shared SK II with my mom. So can you imagine. I spend so much at first. But actually 2 persons using it. Me and my mom. And it can last for about 2 years or more for two people.

People said, my skin looks brighter (despite not knowing what I wear). I didn't notice that myself.

I just notice, even though I haven't sleep for the whole night and day... I am still comfortable with my skin. Despite the air conditioner or bright sunlight... hotness of the weather etc.

Alhamdulillah.

I wrote it here because... I don't really like people know what I use for my skin care because of the 'perceptions' of rich thingy. And I'm too lazy to explain. Only my relatives know what I wear.

And you, who read this.

Well, I know almost nobody read this blog anymore. Hehe

I can feel the transformation after about two weeks using FTE (just FTE solely at first). I feel my skins become supple and hydrated. Plus... the motto of SK II is actually to go for make up free skin or a very light make up. Its for the skin health. Obviously I don't have time to spend on putting make up on my face.

p/s: Usually, I used the complete set of a skincare. I didn't mix facial cleanser A with toner B and mosturizer C. I just believe the company has made a good research to give optimum result by using the complete products in line. Just like Hazeline Snow and Safi Balqis previously

p/s/s: Be istiqamah. No complete satisfaction comes in short term usage. Unless the product is really 'hazardous' to your skin. I believe the 'fast' result is a harmful thing to our skin.

p/s/s/s: SK II sebenarnya air beras. Dan baunya sangat tak sedap. Haha!  Tutup hidung dan tahan. Macam nak tanggalkan blackheads pakai putih telur. Haih... benda-benda au naturalle ni memang tak ada pewangi yang sedap. :(

Till then. Ramadhan Kareem. 

Happy fasting and enjoy doing good deeds, collecting rewards. 

Almost

A year without any entry.
The emptiness. The inexplicable-ness.
Thus.
Be grateful, for Allah has tested you taking away your free time.
Dear Allah, please make me a grateful servant of Yours.

Children

“One writes out of one thing only — one’s own experience. Everything depends on how relentlessly one forces from this experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give. This is the only real concern of the artist, to recreate out of the disorder of life that order which is art.”

—	James Baldwin

I want to write children books. And I'm starting reading children books. Then. I've started (already, actually).

What bother me the most is... I don't know how does a children think?

But... it's not that actually.
Its about what do you want your children to digest and learn in their prime age. Yes... this is the time to 'teach'. Literally.

O Allah... help me. I need to have a pure heart.

Refreshing

...is the smell of rain when you just touchdown-ed the homeland's ground.

Goodbye student's world.
Welcome full of responsibilities' world.
And cheers to the thousands-shades-of-grey-world. 

Kadang-Kadang

Kadang-kadang... kita perlu berlagak macam model profesional walaupun BMI macam bukan model; hampir-hampir menjadi obes. ;-)

Explaination

People only hear what they want to hear.
Yet.
They still ask for confrontation. And they will shut their ears when your explanations are against their conscience.

But please don't ask explanation from me.
I'm afraid the wild beast in me overpowered myself.
At least. Now. In the very moment of this dusk of mine. It seems warm yet approaching darkness. It seems lonely yet holding its own mystery. It seems nice to be greeted upon, but not to stay long with.

Give me space. Give me time.
I'm in dire need of them.

Hiatus

Perhaps a long one. To give way to the Final Examination.

Written Exams
 

A-Int. Medicine 

28 Nov- Paper 

1 Dec- Paper 2 

3 Dec- Paper 3

 

B-Surgery

17 Dec- Paper 1
20 Dec- Paper 2
22 Dec- Paper 3

 

Clinical Exams

 

A-Int. Medicine
25 Dec- Oral
27 Dec- Short Cases
30 Dec- Long Case
1 Jan- X-ray & ECG

3 Jan- Dermatology & Andrology
9 Jan-Clinical Pathology

B-Surgery
12 Jan- Oral Operative
16 Jan- Long Case
21 Jan- OSCE
23 Jan- Surgical Pathology & X-ray.

Please send lotsa prayers for us.

Hope

We don't try to spark any hope in anybody,
if we are unwilling to fulfill it.

Give hope. That's a kind of initiation of a promise.
If you're going to carry the 'promise' along... then give'em the hope.
But please don't crush it afterwards.

But the good righteous deeds that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope. ~al-Quran 18:46

Well, that should be a great reminder for me.

Journey V2

The stories in between... maybe when I need to write it in flashback form, I'll do so. If I think I don't need to write about it... then assume there's nothing worth sharing. ;)

What happened

...to my blog?
OMG. What is this darkness? Where is the background? Oh no... I'm really not a fan of frequent template changing.

Wisdom

I think that is what we're lacking of.
Grant us wisdom O' Allah.

Journey

So, there it goes. Lone ranger on trip. ;)
May Allah ease everything and may the journey be blessed.
Ameen. Pray for me too. And keep doing good deeds in this blessed month.

Ramadhan Kareem! :D

Sister vs Mother

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,

My Angah is now at Matriculation College in Perlis. heh. Far away from home.

The first side of me tell yes it's better. Because I like my family to be scattered around because they'll value the family more when we gather again. ;)

And yes, this is the first time he faced the hostel life. Mom said, he deserved it. But in the end, she said 'Pity him. He's so far away. I always wonder what he ate and how was his life going on.'

=))

That's what mostly inside a mother's mind. She was too worried till she forget to ask my Angah other atypical questions. Especially about studying, basic things about living in hostel. haha.

And yes, I managed to do it so far. Alhamdulillah. But there's always a skeptical me inside not believing my Angah has grown up. He is now open to 'life' and all fitnah inside it. He's reaching that stage. That makes me insist asking about his prayer all the time. And the Quran. Because I really believe, if anybody take care of that, he'll be saved from most of the fitnah. At least.

You'll never know how does it feel to have sooo many brothers. Unless you're in my shoe either. Because there's a great disparity in the way of teaching a boy and a girl. A girl is easily influenced by her surrounding, her friends, her seniors and teachers. But for a boy, their main and only influence is a mother's touch. And for that reason, I told my mother specifically what she need to know about my brother and what she could do when any crisis popped up.

I believe. There's a dominant 'big sister' living inside me being overprotective. It's just I don't show it outside. Before this, he is safe inside mommy-daddy's territory. But now, not anymore. He must face life. And that's the sunnah. No matter what.

May Allah easen his way, may Allah always remember him, and may he always remember Allah in whatever he do.

Oh ya, one more. If you tell any secret, or anything to your sister, it will reach your mom too, faster than the fastest internet in the world. ;)

May Allah will help me being a good sister too then.

Ameen.

Phosphenes

I don't like lengthy article.
And every time I need to read a longggggg one, I will cut them into several part.

Maybe I read the last part first. Then, next hours maybe I'll read the first part. And so on.

But then it just happened that I need to edit multiple long articles. b-(

And phosphenes start to spark themselves.

Yusuf

Life was full of humps and bumps. To make your journey interesting and meaningful, at least.
And to test which of us is consistent in doing good deeds.

Stories of the past pious people who went through hardships are one way of keeping one head up again. Like Allah has told Rasulullah so many versions of hardships that Prophet Musa alaihissalam faced.

And my most favourite 'story' that Allah tell is Surah Yusuf. It's like healing what have been hurt. Returning what have been lost. It never fail as always. Enough said, enjoy the talk by Yusuf Estes below. :D

This was 10 days ago. Can you see me among the audience there? eheh. You need supereyes for that.  ;)

Allahumma bariklana fi Rajab wa Syaaban waballighna Ramadhan.