Story for me

Assalamualaikum :)

Mode: Sorrow, wallow, shallow, borrow, terabur.

I was trying to make some list. In order to keep myself distracted.

Mood swing that last almost for a month. Even PMS never been this bad.

Actually it makes me tired much more than having role-play talk show for the commed. Ouh... seriously... really-really tired pretending in front of others. But you've to. Logically, takkan nak mengamuk everyday showing you're in a bad mood. What a 'tak tahulah nak cakap apa punya orang'.

You run for somebody who dont even want to know you. Its tiring. Yet, I know Allah value all the energy, all the tears, all the pain in you. Allah value your intention. Allah value your effort. Allah value your du'a. And please think that He planned the best for you.

A dearest somebody told me. If that particular person running away from you. Why must you feel sad. There are too many people want to know you, around you. There are many people want to talk with you, live with you around you. Dont care much bout that person, but just pray her heart will be opened.

You suffer mentally with pressure all around you. At home, at school, at mugamma'. Facing your moody classmates, facing your unwell housemates, facing the quarrel around you, facing the macam tongkang pecah house, facing the mountains of unfolded clothes.

Another somebody told me, this is the world we live in. Have faith in Him. Raise your patient level. Give yourself solely to Him. Ask everything you want from Him.

You have a lot of dateline chasing you all around. Here and there discussion, study group. Again, I should be grateful because its still much-much more less than whats I'm going to face in the future.

They said, celebrate yourself after finishing every single task. And I'm still looking over my calendar when I can finished most of the big tasks.

You look at your shelf and see the books were waiting to be taken. Oh my... I'm sorry for you. I dont know how long I haven't touch all of you even for one paragraph.

You got headache, insomnia, nightmare and so on. Then people taking your props without asking your permission. My personal view said its too rude. Hey, we already learnt that. Why not practicing it in our lives? Its useless.

Somebody said, try to eethar. Oh... masya-Allah... my heart is full of sin and I cant tolerate it.

You dont like to show your anger. Coz its hurting you. And of course hurting the other people too. But, people underestimated yourself. You burst out after 'a very-very long dormant'. And then you cried after that. And that person got sick after facing your anger.

She said, Rasulullah said, when people do something wrong, give themselves 70 excuses before you got mad with them. Alhamdulillah, the ukhuwah bond still going strong. And still feeling guilty eventho I know I have the right to be mad. But a good muslim shouldnt do that.

You are in pain. But you're still acting as if you're so strong. Hey tears, enough flowing. Hey, its painful. So painful.

But I said to me, the pain in you is created special for you. So be grateful.

Thabbit qulubana 'ala dinik.

Have faith in His Love Letters.

[And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty)-65:2]

May this new year better than the previous.